Love and Sorrow (Small Town Secrets Book 5), стр. 9
“I can be loud sometimes, and I get pretty intense. Maybe I remind her of him when I’m like that.”
“Maybe.” But no. Justin was nothing like my ex.
He rested his hand on my arm. “Maybe I should disappear for a while.”
That was what I feared—but it was what had been in the back of my mind all along. Justin was one of few friends and probably the only one I fully trusted, so I absolutely hated the idea of him not being around.
But Sarah was my obligation and she was far more important than any other relationship I might have. From the moment I learned I was pregnant, her life became more important than my own.
My voice was quiet and sounded choked as I forced the words out. “I’d thought of that—but then I also thought she doesn’t actually see you very often. Could you really have that effect on her when you’re not here much?” Justin was never alone with her, so I wasn’t worried about him doing anything weird. Still…
“Ya never know.”
“I’m going to get her into counseling. That’s what the principal and counselor at the school suggested. Maybe a therapist could help her deal with whatever it is she’s going through.” Suddenly, I was overcome with emotion, and a tear formed in the corner of my eye. “I definitely can’t.”
Justin drew me into his arms and held me close. “Hey. Why don’t we give it a whirl? I can disappear for a while. If it’s me that’s making her this way, maybe she’ll open up when I’m not around.” I nodded, still fighting back tears as he continued. “And if nothing changes, then maybe it’s not me.” I looked up at him and, uncharacteristically, he kissed my nose. Then he bent his neck to the side, stretching. “I’d better go now.”
But I kept my arms wrapped around him. “Not right now. I’m not ready yet.”
He kissed me again, this time with passion and promise, and we made love one last time. Sometime after I finally drifted into a restless sleep, Justin pulled on his clothes and left, closing the door behind him.
Chapter Three
The next morning, I felt utterly exhausted and found it nearly impossible to crawl out of bed, but after hitting snooze three times, I knew I had to get my ass up. By the time I got to the kitchen to make coffee, Devon was already sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast. “Morning, mom.”
“Good morning, sweetheart. How’d you sleep?”
“Fine.” While I started filling the coffee carafe with water, he scooped up another spoonful of frosted flakes from his bowl. “Was Justin here last night?” he asked before putting the spoon in his mouth.
I shut off the water. “Yes, for a while.”
“I knew it.”
What did my young son even mean? That aside, if Devon knew Justin had been over last night, then Sarah likely did as well. And knowing that Justin had been here—what kind of effect did that have on my kids?
Did they know how often he’d been in my bed?
So I finished making the coffee and then sat down at the table. Maybe now was the time to dip my toe into potentially troubled waters. “What do you think of Justin, bud?”
“He’s nice, I guess.”
“Do you like him?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Do you think he’s trying to replace your dad?”
As the coffee pot started making noises, coming to life, Devon gave me a big smile. “He couldn’t do that, mom. My dad’s my dad.”
“I’m glad you said that. Because he’s not trying to.”
“I know.”
I smiled back and then stood, patting him on the head before leaving the kitchen to trek back down the hallway toward Sarah’s closed bedroom door. After I rapped on it, I said, “Sarah, honey, time to get up.”
Sarah muttered something imperceptible, but I suspected I knew the gist, so I responded by saying, “I know you don’t have to go today, but we need to take Devon to school.”
“I know.”
Well, at least she was halfway awake. So I took a quick shower and then slipped on a robe and checked that Sarah was out of bed. Then I made my way to the kitchen to get my first cup of coffee. My daughter sat at the table, picking at the marshmallows in her bowl of cereal. Devon was gone now, so he was probably in his room getting dressed.
Once more, I sat at the table, planning to have my coffee after talking with Sarah. “We’re going to get you some help, honey.”
“Help with what?” Sarah actually looked up from the bowl at me through sky-blue eyes. Suddenly, I was overwhelmed with sadness that my little girl wasn’t so little anymore—but she wasn’t quite a woman, either. The nightgown hanging on her body was still that of a child, long and lacy, covered with tiny black and white sheep jumping fences. But she was already starting to change in the most subtle of ways and soon she’d start to show the curves that indicated her femininity—but right now she was in that in-between place.
And that made me profoundly sad.
“I really don’t know yet. But it’s evident to all of us that you’re having some problems…dealing with something. We’re going to get you some help.”
“What kind of help?”
“Someone to talk to.”
“Like who?”
“Someone trained to do this kind of thing.”
“Who?”
I took a deep breath, forcing myself to stay patient. “Honey, we talked about this yesterday. We’re going to find a psychiatrist or psychologist for you.”
Sarah dropped the spoon she was holding into the bowl, causing little oat pieces and tiny marshmallows to bounce onto the table. “Do you think I’m crazy?”
I scooted my chair closer to her and put a hand on her shoulder. I wanted to pull her into my arms but she was already resisting a simple touch from my hand. “No, I don’t think you’re crazy. I just think you need some help. You seemed fine with this