epub:type="z3998:persona">Sir Oliver
Aside. How like his father the dog is!—Aloud. Well, well, I have done. — Aside. I did not perceive it before, but I think I never saw such a striking resemblance. — Aloud. Here is a draft for your sum. |
| Charles Surface |
Why, ’tis for eight hundred pounds! |
| Sir Oliver |
You will not let Sir Oliver go? |
| Charles Surface |
Zounds! no! I tell you once more. |
| Sir Oliver |
Then never mind the difference, we’ll balance that another time. — But give me your hand on the bargain; you are an honest fellow, Charles—I beg pardon, sir, for being so free. — Come, Moses. |
| Charles Surface |
Egad, this is a whimsical old fellow!—But hark’ee, Premium, you’ll prepare lodgings for these gentlemen. |
| Sir Oliver |
Yes, yes, I’ll send for them in a day or two. |
| Charles Surface |
But hold; do now send a genteel conveyance for them, for, I assure you, they were most of them used to ride in their own carriages. |
| Sir Oliver |
I will, I will—for all but Oliver. |
| Charles Surface |
Ay, all but the little nabob. |
| Sir Oliver |
You’re fixed on that? |
| Charles Surface |
Peremptorily. |
| Sir Oliver |
Aside. A dear extravagant rogue!—Aloud. Good day!—Come, Moses. — Aside. Let me hear now who dares call him profligate! |
|
Exit with Moses. |
| Careless |
Why, this is the oddest genius of the sort I ever met with! |
| Charles Surface |
Egad, he’s the prince of brokers, I think. I wonder how the devil Moses got acquainted with so honest a fellow. — Ha! here’s Rowley. — Do, Careless, say I’ll join the company in a few moments. |
| Careless |
I will—but don’t let that old blockhead persuade you to squander any of that money on old musty debts, or any such nonsense; for tradesmen, Charles, are the most exorbitant fellows. |
| Charles Surface |
Very true, and paying them is only encouraging them. |
| Careless |
Nothing else. |
| Charles Surface |
Ay, ay, never fear. — |
|
Exit Careless. |
|
So! this was an odd old fellow, indeed. — Let me see, two-thirds of this is mine by right, five hundred and thirty odd pounds. ’Fore Heaven! I find one’s ancestors are more valuable relations than I took them for!—Ladies and gentlemen, your most obedient and very grateful servant.—Bows ceremoniously to the pictures. |
|
Enter Rowley. |
|
Ha! old Rowley! egad, you are just come in time to take leave of your old acquaintance. |
| Rowley |
Yes, I heard they were a-going. But I wonder you can have such spirits under so many distresses. |
| Charles Surface |
Why, there’s the point! my distresses are so many, that I can’t afford to part with my spirits; but I shall be rich and splenetic, all in good time. However, I suppose you are surprised that I am not more sorrowful at parting with so many near relations: to be sure, ’tis very affecting, but you see they never move a muscle, so why should I? |
| Rowley |
There’s no making you serious a moment. |
| Charles Surface |
Yes, faith, I am so now. Here, my honest Rowley, here, get me this changed directly, and take a hundred pounds of it immediately to old Stanley. |
| Rowley |
A hundred pounds. Consider only— |
| Charles Surface |
Gad’s life, don’t talk about it! poor Stanley’s wants are pressing, and, if you don’t make haste, we shall have someone call that has a better right to the money. |
| Rowley |
Ah! there’s the point! I never will cease dunning you with the old proverb— |
| Charles Surface |
Be just before you’re generous. 19—Why, so I would if I could; but Justice is an old, hobbling beldame, and I can’t get her to keep pace with Generosity, for the soul of me. |
| Rowley |
Yet, Charles, believe me, one hour’s reflection— |
| Charles Surface |
Ay, ay, it’s very true; but, hark’ee, Rowley, while I have, by Heaven I’ll give: so, damn your economy! and now for hazard. |
|
Exeunt. |
Scene II
Another room in the same.
|
Enter Sir Oliver Surface and Moses. |
| Moses |
Well, sir, I think, as Sir Peter said, you have seen Mr. Charles in high glory; ’tis great pity he’s so extravagant. |
| Sir Oliver |
True, but he would not sell my picture. |
| Moses |
And loves wine and women so much. |
| Sir Oliver |
But he would not sell my picture. |
| Moses |
And game so deep. |
| Sir Oliver |
But he would not sell my picture. Oh, here’s Rowley. |
|
Enter Rowley. |
| Rowley |
So, Sir Oliver, I find you have made a purchase— |
| Sir Oliver |
Yes, yes, our young rake has parted with his ancestors like old tapestry. |
| Rowley |
And here has he commissioned me to redeliver you part of the purchase-money—I mean, though, in your necessitous character of old Stanley. |
| Moses |
Ah! there is the pity of all! he is so damned charitable. |
| Rowley |
And I left a hosier and two tailors in the hall, who, I’m sure, won’t be paid, and this hundred would satisfy them. |
| Sir Oliver |
Well, well, I’ll pay his debts and his benevolence too. But now I am no more a broker, and you shall introduce me to the elder brother as old Stanley. |
| Rowley |
Not yet awhile; Sir Peter, I know, means to call there about this time. |
|
Enter Trip. |
| Trip |
Oh, gentlemen, I beg pardon for not showing you out: this way—Moses, a word. |
|
Exit with Moses. |
| Sir Oliver |
There’s a fellow for you! Would you believe it, that puppy intercepted the Jew on our coming, and wanted to raise money before he got to his master! |
| Rowley |
Indeed! |
| Sir Oliver |
Yes, they are now planning an annuity business. Ah, Master Rowley, in my days servants were content with me follies of their masters, when I they were worn a little threadbare; but now they I have their vices, like their birthday clothes, with the gloss on. |
|
Exeunt. |
Scene III
A library in Joseph Surface’s house.
|
Enter Joseph Surface and Servant. |
| Joseph Surface |
No letter from Lady Teazle? |
| Servant |
No, sir. |
| Joseph Surface |
Aside. I am surprised she has not sent, if she is prevented from coming. Sir Peter certainly does not suspect me. Yet I wish I may not lose the heiress through the scrape I have drawn myself into with the wife: however, Charles’s imprudence and |
